It's been a while since I last put up a post here. Don't think there's anybody out there who reads my blog. Well, whatever. I'm getting a little tired of the voices that keep talking to me, so I thought I might just go on ahead and let them reunite with you (bloggy).
Well, I've been thinking a lot these days - a LOT - that's what you get for being sick and lying in your bed all day long. Yeah, I've been sick for like more than a month now, ever since I'd come back home. And in the time I was at university; been sick then too, for 9 months. And I'm even more sick now that I'm home. Hurray hurray.
Shit, I'm updating my phone software and turns out that its a friggin 135 MB update. Damn.
Hey, I gotta go now. Reunion has to wait. Oh wait, this counts as a reunion, right?
I remember asking myself whether it was ever too late to apologize. I also remember forgiving someone even before they'd told me that they were sorry for something they did to me. Well, they did apologize later. Funny though. Even funnier thing is that they apologized to me again, although I had forgiven them for everything they'd done to me. But then I realised that I'd forgiven them earlier not knowing what I know now. And... I don't know... I just don't think I've truly forgiven them... I know more about the things that had happened, and I can't bring myself to forgive them just yet... It just doesn't feel right... yet... So, I guess I haven't forgiven them... Part of me wants to, but the other part doesn't. Wonder when the whole of me would agree...?
Heya. I watched the movie 'Garden State' the other day. Yeah, yeah, I know it's a 2004 movie, but I just watched it this year, OK? Anyway, there's this scene where Natalie Portman passes her pair of headphones to Zach Braff, and says "You gotta hear this one song — it'll change your life." [1]
Well, the song was so calming and nice that I listened to the full song on youtube. Then, I checked out the lyrics, and 'as fate would have it' *rolls eyes*, I checked the lyrics at www.sing365.com, and I was reading through the reviews and the comments and found this review buy a guy called the guy who cooks your food, and he'd given his interpretation of the song. Anyway, I really liked his interpretation, so thought I'd share it here. Oh yeah, I posted the song and lyrics, too ;D
Gold teeth and a curse for this town were all in my mouth.
Only, i don't know how they got out, dear.
Turn me back into the pet that i was when we met.
I was happier then with no mind-set.
And if you'd 'a took to me like
A gull takes to the wind.
Well, i'd 'a jumped from my tree
And i'd a danced like the king of the AZORES
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.
New slang when you notice the stripes, the dirt in your fries.
Hope it's right when you die, old and bony.
Dawn breaks like a bull through the hall,
Never should have called
But my head's to the wall and i'm lonely.
And if you'd 'a took to me like
A gull takes to the wind.
Well, i'd 'a jumped from my tree
And i'd a danced like the king of the AZORES
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.
God speed all the bakers at dawn may they all cut their thumbs,
And bleed into their buns 'till they melt away.
I'm looking in on the good life i might be doomed never to find.
Without a trust or flaming fields am i too dumb to refine?
And if you'd 'a took to me like
Well i'd a danced like the queen of the AZORES
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.
Review
wow. | Reviewer: the guy who cooks your food | 12/10/08
the songs about how the if the girl would of just tried more, than both of them would of lived happier.
verse one- says how he's now cursing the entire relationship because of what it's become. he's lost what he had at the beginning of the relationship. he's lost mindless love.
verse two-he's saying sarcastically that he hopes everything goes right for her. he doesnt really mean it. and even though she treated him like shit, he cant help but call her and get back together because hes lonely and nobody is there.
verse three- he's saying that you have to take a risk to be happy. if the bakers didnt bake their bread because they have the chance to cut their thumbs then nobody would ever have bread. if your ever going to be anything you have to take the risk.and hes also saying that he thinks he will never attain the happy life he dreamed of. he places some blame on himself that things went so bad.he says that he needs to learn to refine himself and learn to trust people again and he also needs to learn to take a risk sometimes. *flaming fields being an analogy to his bravery which he lacks.*
chorus and last two lines- if only she would of treated him better and tried harder they could of lived happy for the rest of their lives. but she didnt. he also feels if he were better at trusting and being strong and brave then maybe she would of tried.
but thats just what it means to me. its really open to interperation.
I' ve been feeling so fucked up lately. I'm at a university now, and it's a real great university too; at least, when considering the department my course is in.
Well, I'm on my Christmas holidays now. It will last till the 18th of this month, and exams start on the 19th. Mine starts on the 20th. I'm doing 6 modules this semester, each worth 10 credits, where each credit is equal to 10 hours of work (lectures, labs plus self study); thereby making each module equivalent to 100 hours of work. So I need to put in 600 hours of work for this semester. I've already handed in a log of my 100 hours for one module, since there is no written test for that one. So now, I have 5 written tests to go to. I need 40% in each module to pass, and an average of 60% to maintain the scholarship I'm currently on, which reduces my tuition fee by £2,000. And, well, I'm not rich, so I really can't afford to lose this scholarship, since I'm currently on a government loan and they won't be paying me anything more than what they've already given. Bastards.
Anyway, I'm trying to motivate myself to study, and been staying up all night long; 'cause that's the only time I can really work well, and sleeping throughout the day. But the thing is that I know I'm not putting in all the effort I am capable of. I'm literally wasting time. The time I spend doing some productive work is so much less than the time I waste!!
Then I ask myself; why?
Sad truth is that I don't have an answer to myself. No wait, that's not true. I DO have one answer. Logic says that the reason I'm not putting in enough work is that I don't think that work is worth it. Right? You do things you think is worth all the trouble. And studying really is a shit load of trouble. But, of course, the "end-product" or what you get in the "big picture" is worth all that, right? So, WHY WHY WHY THE FUCKING HELL CAN'T I MOTIVATE MYSELF TO WORK????
Simple, I don't think it's worth it. And all this time, I've been telling myself that this is what I want to do. Maybe it is... But then again, it begs the same question. And I have another logical answer again: There is something I want more than what I can get in the bigger picture. Damn.
All I know is this; I've been lying to myself all this time, and I can't trust myself. Haha! Me; the one person who I thought would never betray me, and he turns out to be a fucking liar, too.
This is absolutely the most disturbing song I've ever heard. So I must warn you that the lyrics contains explicit material, and the video contains images which maybe disturbing to some viewers.
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Before the story begins, is it such a sin, For me to take what's mine, until the end of time? We were more than friends, before the story ends, And I will take what's mine, create what God would never design
Our love had been so strong for far too long, I was weak with fear that Something would go wrong, Before the possibilities came true, I took all possibility from you Almost laughed myself to tears, (Hahahaha! ) Conjuring her deepest fears (Come Here You Fucking Bitch! )
Must have stabbed her fifty fucking times, I can't believe it, Ripped her heart out right before her eyes, Eyes over easy, eat it, eat it, eat it!
She was never this good in bed Even when she was sleepin' Now she's just so perfect I've Never been quite so fucking deep in It goes on, and on, and on, I can keep you lookin' young and preserved forever, With a fountain to spray on your youth whenever
'Cause I really always knew that my little crime Would be cold that's why I got a heater for your thighs And I know, I know it's not your time But bye, bye. And a word to the wise when the fire dies, You think it's over but it's just begun But baby don't cry
You had my heart, at least for the most part 'Cause everybody's gotta die sometime, we fell apart Let's make a new start 'Cause everybody's gotta die sometime (yeah) But baby don't cry
Now possibilities I'd never considered, Are occurring the likes of which I'd never heard, Now an angry soul comes back from beyond the grave, To repossess a body with which I'd misbehaved
Smiling right from ear to ear Almost laughed herself to tears
Must have stabbed him fifty fucking times I can't believe it Ripped his heart out right before his eyes Eyes over easy Eat it, eat it, eat it
Now that it's done I realize the error of my ways I must venture back to apologize from somewhere far beyond the grave
I gotta make up for what I've done 'Cause I was all up in a piece of heaven While you burned in hell, no peace forever
'Cause I really always knew that my little crime Would be cold that's why I got a heater for your thighs And I know, I know it's not your time But bye, bye And a word to the wise when the fire dies You think it's over but it's just begun But baby don't cry
You had my heart, at least for the most part 'Cause everybody's gotta die sometime, we fell apart Let's make a new start 'Cause everybody's gotta die sometime (yeah) But baby don't cry
I will suffer for so long (What will you do, not long enough) To make it up to you (I pray to God that you do) I'll do whatever you want me to do (Well then I'll grant you one chance) And if it's not enough (If it's not enough, If it's not enough) If it's not enough (Not enough) Try again (Try again) And again (And again) Over and over again
We're coming back, coming back We'll live forever, live forever Let's have wedding, have a wedding Let's start the killing, start the killing
Do you take this man in death for the rest of your unnatural life? (Yes, I do.) Do you take this woman in death for the rest of your unnatural life? (I do) I now pronounce you...
'Cause I really always knew that my little crime Would be cold that's why I got a heater for your thighs And I know, I know it's not your time But bye, bye And a word to the wise when the fire dies You think it's over but it's just begun But baby don't cry
You had my heart, at least for the most part 'Cause everybody's gotta die sometime, we fell apart Let's make a new start 'Cause everybody's gotta die sometime yeah But baby don't cry
I am a guy with many 'theories'. The main reason I created this blog was to express these so-called-theories. I once got into trouble with a certain person when I expressed them, because they didn't understand what I meant. At least here, you can't blame me 'cause you read all my theories at your own will.
